A Sober Assesment of the Situation
By Cognizant

The "franchise" is in the waning stages of an insurmountable illness.

But in all seriousness, let us take a step back from our obsession. Star Trek is a phenomenon that has far outlived is usefullness and resourcefullness. The latter is perhaps the most relevant object of this post.

Where exactly can they go now? Star Trek is dead on so many levels it defies reason that it continues to trudge onward. Let us look objectively at the present state of "Trekdom" (whatever the hell that is exactly).

Apparently, the idea of an eleventh Star Trek feature film is not a myth. After the combined events that lead to Star Trek: Nemesis being the fiasco that it was, I am somewhat surprised to find that an eleventh movie is under consideration so soon. I say somewhat surprised as this is the same outfit (Paramount) that decided releasing Nemesis a week before a Harry Potter film was sound judgement. It doesn't really get any more obvious that those in charge of this franchise are so out of touch with reality that reality just can seep in, even though the dam has burst into a million shards.

Of course, the eleventh film has to be about something "Star Trek" ... well, maybe not, but it might be a good idea. Let us look at the options, as they were.

ST: TNG. Raking in the lowest domestic box office in the history of Star Trek does not make the TNG crew a viable option. Whatever the excuse for the debacle, business accumen warrants that something about TNG is broken and must be avoided. Sorry folks, but I wouldn't touch TNG with a ten foot pole at this point. Financial investment is the issue here.

ST: DS9. Still for some reason, the bastard child of the Trek Universe, this property is the least likely of all to be made into a feature film. "Just not fan friendly." "Too obscure." "Too dark." "Not Star Trek-y enough". These are just a few of the catch phrases which mire this edition of Star Trek at the bottom of the barrel. The love it or hate it stigma of this series makes it a no-go. That and the almost total abandonment by Berman mean no film. But besides that, what exactly would it be about? The wormhole again? The Dominion? Would it have to take place at DS9 even? Perhaps not, but then ... it wouldn't be DS9 would it?

ST: Voyager. Uh, what would this be about again? The crew has returned home. Its crew no doubt scattered to the four corners of the universe. Remember, some of the most interesting cast weren't even StarFleet officers, so how would we work them into a script? 7o9 isn't a commissioned officer. The EMH is just a hologram (and a dated one now). Half the remaining cast are Maquis refugees, and whats left isn't that interesting. What exactly could the movie revolve around? I'm sure you could fabricate something, but it would be stretching the space-time fabric well past its tolerances ... if it hasn't been already.

ST: Enterprise. Well, frankly, despite what anyones personal feelings about this series are, its irrelevant. This show is on life-support in the worst way, and doesn't even begin to deserve a feature film. The cast outside of Bakula are unknowns. The show hasn't garnered much attention even among Star Trek faithful. And its so poorly concieved that anything that resulted would be a bizarre mish-mash of amalgamated Star Trek, regurgitated into a mess of non-descript blandness as they try to play it safe. No thank you ... I didn't like it on TV, I'm certainly not going to pay to go see it in a theater.

ST: TOS, Captain Sulu Time-line. While this may have been feasible at one time, I think the idea is past its prime. I don't doubt George Takei's ability to put on a costume, but I do question his viability at this stage in his career. They've neglected the Sulu character for so long that I doubt tossing him into a feature film and watching it drown in disinterest is going to be what it takes to jump start a dead horse. How can you realistically expect to start a new franchise with an actor who's in the stratosphere of his life expectancy?

ST: TOS, Captain Kirk rides again. C'mon people. Everybody loves Kirk, but we have to just let it go. They killed him already for cryin' out loud.

So guess what? They've painted themselves into a corner. A great many things have had to go wrong in order for them to get to the point we've reached. The only thing they could reasonably concoct would be a "new" cast and crew and set it somewhere between Enterprise and TOS. The only "canon" idea left that hasn't been thoroughly raped and pillaged is the Romulan Wars. So ... why not! With glee and raucous abandon, this is the best they can come up with. Are you surprised? I'm not.

The problem with basing a movie around this idea has been stated by others, but I will recap the most obvious and illuminating: According to lore, the Romulan Wars were fought with interstellar missiles and without either side confronting the other. Well, shucks, that sounds about as exciting as watching paint dry. So obviously that'll have to be convienently forgotten about during the initial draft ... which will alienate the faithful ... who'll just happen to be the only people who care enough at this point. Combine this with a completely new cast of possibly unknown talent (and I use the term hopefully) and you have a recipie for utter disaster which threatens to make Nemesis look like a blockbuster by financial comparison.

The problem may have been created by Rick Berman and Brannon Braga's indiffrence to the writing on the wall the last several years, but the truth is the problem is much bigger than the two of them times ten. This franchise has been ground into the maelstrom that is incest and greed for so long that I fear nothing can pull it beyond the black-hole-like grip of death. We're circling the drain. We're preparing for the dirt-nap. Whatever cute phrase you can come up with, I fear it is befiting of being transmutted into axiom status.

Lack of vision brought us to where we are. A collision with reality will make us finally move on to something else.

BTW, using Romulans as villans in any abortive eleventh movie will be a first, not a second. The Picard clone and Reman insurgents were the villains in Nemesis ... not the Romulans. Small detail ... :)

Peace